Self-Insert
by Scarlet Phlame
Summary: "I know EVERYTHING about you," the self-insert drooled. "Where you live, who you love, what you eat-" "What's my name, then?" "UGH! Just stop stalling and kiss me already! I'm a self-insert, everybody knows where this goes." ONESHOT. (I own nothing. Hopefully not even the self-insert 'cos that'd be embarrassing.)


It was a pretty normal day for Samantha-Mary Sue, who was ever-so-casually walking down a random alley.

Quite suddenly, she paused walking, backed up, and jumped onto the street in hopes of seeing a big blue police box bearing a hot dude. Alas, there was none.

"Shucks," she groaned, walking back in the other direction.

A few more minutes passed before she yelled out "DOCTOR" and paused in hopes of someone running towards her. In fact, someone did.

"Are you okay? Did you call for a doctor?" a nurse asked as she ran by. Samanatha-Mary Sue scowled.

"No, I called for THE Doctor," she said.

"I'm just a nurse, but I know how to heal injuries," the nurse said, confused.

"Get outta here, peasant," Samantha-Mary Sue scowled. "This is a self-insert FanFiction and I'm the only person who's allowed to be a female. Duh."

The nurse stared at the girl for a moment. "Uh... you sure you don't need medical attention?"

"Yes!" Samantha-Mary Sue said, before looking up through the fourth wall. "Excuse me, you should write out my full name every sentence, which is Samantha-Mary Jane Potato Face Slenderperson Epic Dragon Swordfighter Elizabeth Sue, or, otherwise known on MapleStory as Dragon_Slayer1232."

"Hey! Shut up, I'm trying to write for you!" the author shouted back.

"Funkiller," Samantha mumbled.

"Hey!" Quite suddenly, a man wearing a brown trench coat ran onscreen. "Who was calling my name?"

"OHMYGODYOU'RETHETENTHDOCTOR!" Samantha-Mary Sue screamed.

"Huh?" the Doctor asked.

"GTFO!" Samantha screamed, pushing the nurse offscreen and fixing her hair. "Hello, sweetie."

"I think I'm missing something here," the Doctor said with a frown.

"You're even skinnier than in the show!" Samantha screamed. "Dude, you're so hot!"

"...Thanks?" the Doctor offered.

"MWAH!" Samantha yelled, running over and giving the Doctor a giant bear hug.

"What the hell?" the Doctor groaned, trying to pry the girl off him. Samantha jumped down and stared at him in shock.

"Dude... this is a self-insert. You're supposed to fall madly in love with me because I am just sooo hot," Samantha said. "Duh."

"You need glasses if you think you're hot," the Doctor mumbled. "Uhm, I think I'll just walk... that way."

"That way leads to a wall," Samantha said, dragging the Doctor back. "Just stay here and talk to me."

"About what?"

"Stuff, like, I mean, I know EVERYTHING about you," Samantha said. "Like where you're from and that you've got two hearts and you're an alien and-"

"If you know so much, then what's my name?" the Doctor asked smugly. Samantha stomped her foot and pouted.

"That's not a fair question!"

"You know nothing about me," the Doctor said. "Who sent you?"

"The author did, of course," Samantha said blankly. "This is a self-insert fic."

"Who is this author?" the Doctor asked.

"You're hot but I'm starting to think you're kind of stupid," Samantha said slowly. "Take me back to the TARDIS so I can say it's bigger on the inside!"

"Ai," the Doctor said slowly.

"Do you have the sonic screwdriver?" Samantha asked, yanking the coat off of the Doctor and digging around in the inside pockets. "Whoa! The pockets are bigger on the inside!"

"Oi! What are you doing with that?!" the Doctor asked.

"Stealing your sonic screwdriver," Samantha said, hugging the device.

"That's it. Out! Get out, now," the Doctor said, grabbing his sonic.

"But that's not fair," Samantha pouted. "Wait, I'm already outside. How do I get out?"

"I meant get out of this FanFiction, go, shoo," the Doctor said.

"AAAAH!" the reader suddenly yelled, jumping out of bed and looking around. "Oh, phew, it was only a dream."

.

_**Fairly cheesy and pretty awful, and, yet, I had to write it. Quite literally, because my good 'ol friend is making a deal with me, Fabala Throp. Hoping that since I've published the self-insert she wanted me to write, she'll ACTUALLY LOOK AT AN EPISODE OF DOCTOR WHO.**_

_**...Ahem. R&R!**_


End file.
